The "But" Prayer

I caught myself praying a but prayer.

Lord, I know that I’m a sinful person. My sins are no less than theirs. I lie too, but…..

Then I fell silent. I realized the “but” voided my prayer. My intent was to say that I too have sinned and realize my sin is as bad as person “x” “but” mine were done with good intentions and mine was for a different reason, therefore God is validated in not judging me the same as person “x.”

WHAT NONSENSE! How easy it is to lie to ourselves. I even tried to rationalize my prayer and I sat there silently go through my vocabulary of how I could rearrange the sentence to make it so that I could still pray my intended prayer.

What a relief to the whole world, that I am not God and I am in no position to judge someone else, because if I set myself as the standard for the people I am around now, how much higher my expectation would be if I were God. The earth would have been destroyed every year because I would be so disappointed in the people.

I am so thankful that when God looks upon me, He sees that I can be a liar, judgemental, angry, stubborn, and unforgiving and yet His response to me is BUT I still love her. She still hasn’t learned what I’m been trying to show her, BUT I will give her another chance. She still holds on to that hurt, BUT I will forgive her. She still …BUT I will save her.

My prayer was going to be a prayer that God would show others how they have faulted, but instead He should me how much more I still have to learn.