Ransom

My favorite image of Christ is paying my ransom.

1 Timothy 2:6 "who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

                      

                       Mark 10:45 "For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many"

                     Hosea 13:14 " I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. O Death, I will be your plagues! O Grave, I will be your destruction!"

I imagine my life before Christ, as being kidnapped and bound into a life of sin searching for a way out. I don't know if it is because I watch so many law/crime shows and movies and I've seen the terror in many kidnapped victims. I pretend I am in their position and wonder how I would get out. The kidnapper would have brought me a meal and I pretend I'm sick and then headbutt him and make a run for the door. Or I'm in a room and break off pieces of wood to hold onto as a shank. The chances of me doing any of my ideas in real life are slim to none. In my mind I'm a much braver person than I am in real life. 

Well my life with sin was a lot like that. I see other people in sin and come up with many ways I would get out of it. I could quit drinking if I was in their position I tell myself. I could go to church every Sunday, what is so hard about that? I could live without lying...so many ways I tell myself I could get out of sin and I think I know the exit route but when I'm in sin- when I've really been kidnapped I have no idea how to get out. 

I can see my life before Christ...I'm bound to anger, lying, unforgiveness, lovelessness, doubt, self pity, judgement, faithlessness...the list of adjectives could go on. I envision my life as a scene from a movie. I'm bound and gagged. I can hear the kidnappers talk about me as if my life is nothing. They don't really want me, I am just the way to get to someone they want to hurt. Someone that loves me so much he/she would do anything to get me back. That person is the real reason for my kidnapping. 

So I'm in a room.. I don't know how I got there, and I don't know how to get out. There is a tiny window  in the room I'm being held in. I can see Christ walking up towards the building that is surrounded by my kidnappers. There are snipers on the roof, and two armed guards in front of the door. But still, my Christ walks up. He isn't holding a briefcase filled with unmarked bills. He seems to be only carrying a cross. It is heavy. His head is down and still he walks up to the door with power and determination. The weight of the cross doesn't seem to break his stride. 

Finally the kidnappers come into my dark lonely room and drag me out. Now, I'm face to face with my Christ. Now that I'm closer, I can see the true weight of the cross. There is blood and sweat running down Christ's face. When I was in my room away from Him, I didn't think about how long He had been carrying this cross for, I didn't even think about why He was carrying it. 

Now that I can see His flesh and blood, I still don't understand what is happening. The kidnappers ask Him if He is prepared. They ask Him if He is sure. They ask Him ..why? Why is He doing this for me? I listen to the answers but I don't understand. I barely know this Man. I walked away from Him, I got myself in this situation. The only question that repeats in my mind is Why? Why me? Why the cross? Why do you love me? 

The kidnappers push me towards Him. I cling to Him as long as I can and then He lovingly walks towards my demons. They post the cross and then nail my Savior to it. I can't look Him in the face, I'm so ashamed of putting Him in this situation. Why was I so selfish to need to come down this path instead finding this love first? 

I was free. Christ died for me. I was kidnapped and instead of money, Christ paid for me with His own blood- every drop of it. He was my first love and my Savior. He came to my rescue when no one else would come near me. I was lost to the world, a forgotten memory, but I was never lost to Christ.